Well, this past week was a tough one. Have you ever had a week like that? I did my best to muscle through, but it felt like there were obstacles in my way no matter what path I took.

I haven’t been feeling well, and an upcoming surgery that would make me feel good again got postponed due to scheduling issues with the surgical facility. I’ve been in a lot of pain, and for the past several days I had been doing a countdown in my head, “Ten more days, that’s all. I can do anything for ten days!” Then, “Nine more days, that’s all, I can do anything for nine days.” I had gotten all the way down to “Six days” when I got the call- my surgery would be put off for another two weeks. I started praying. I asked my fellow staff members at church to pray, too. I was trying not to feel desperate, trying to find a way to renew my strength to muscle through and restart my countdown, but the combination of physical pain and disappointment just felt like too much.

On top of that, I was trying to avoid anything that resembled media or current events. The continuing bad news and subsequent vitriol was overwhelming. Family members were having drama. We had one of those fall season mini-heatwaves- and our air conditioner broke. We got it fixed, but of course, that came with a repair bill.

It was just one of those weeks. 

I woke up this morning, and I felt a heavy burden on my heart that God was telling me I needed to “find my hope”. I wasn’t really sure how to even start. I prayed and then went to the Bible to look for inspiration. I came to Psalm 42 NIV- and there it was.

As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, my God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food

day and night,

while people say to me all day long,

“Where is your God?”

4 These things I remember

as I pour out my soul:

how I used to go to the house of God

under the protection of the Mighty One

with shouts of joy and praise

among the festive throng.

5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

6 My soul is downcast within me;

therefore I will remember you

from the land of the Jordan,

the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep

in the roar of your waterfalls;

all your waves and breakers

have swept over me.

8 By day the Lord directs his love,

at night his song is with me—

a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,

“Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I go about mourning,

oppressed by the enemy?”

10 My bones suffer mortal agony

as my foes taunt me,

saying to me all day long,

“Where is your God?”

11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

That line- “These things I remember as I pour out my soul; how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

And that’s hope. That God will see us through the storms, that His love will burst through the clouds and shine on us and warm us up. Hope is the belief that like a storm, the trouble will pass, and one way or another, on the other side of the trouble, God has goodness, and strength, and provision, and open arms for us. I have to focus on His love for me, that love is always there no matter the weather and hang on to His promises. I can stop focusing on the storm, and breathe deeply knowing no matter what is happening, I have hope! God is the storm-breaker, just as Jesus calmed the waters, the Lord split the Red Sea, and so many other examples in the Bible, God owns the skies and wind and rain. I’m so glad He is in control and I can relax.

Next week is probably going to be better. Even if there are as many obstacles, I know that changing my focus to my hope in God instead of my issues is going to make it better!